So, I have been getting questions about this my entire life. Some are earnest, and some are asinine. I will leave you all to figure out which is which. I created this page to address some of those questions, per-emptively.
- Q: Aren’t all albinos black?
A: No. Actually albinism span a wide range of the human race, including Asians, Africans, Europeans, and Native Americans. Maybe when I am feeling including I will share a gallery of some of my more fashionable sisters.
- Q: But, I heard that albinos are mixed race…
A: No, you’re thinking of “mulatto”, a somewhat negative term for mixed white and colored peoples – and you need to pull your head out of your ass.
- Q: What actually causes albinism?
A: Though fiction would have you believing otherwise, you can’t get albinism by getting struck by lightning or losing a very important magic battle – though some people do experience small shocks of hair going white in such cases.
Albinism is caused by a number of different recessive genes, which make it impossible for the human body to create melanin, the chemical responsible for manufacturing human pigment in skin, eyes, and hair.
Some albinism is linked to gender, and some is not. Those linked to gender are typically found in males and also linked to deafness. Most of the genotypes require that both the father and the mother must carry a recessive gene. Mixed phenotypes are possible, but very rare.
- Q: Do all albinos appear to be basically the same?
A: No. Because melanin isn’t the only chemical in the body that leads to coloring, albinos can appear very differently based on racial characteristics. For example, African albinos may have grey skin and orange hair, like the Drow (dark elves) portrayed in D&D. Native American albinos may seem to have pink or ruddy skin compared to Asian or European counterparts, but like both they will have distinctive facial and skeletal features that are not affected by skin tone.
- Q: What is the frequency of albinism?
A: We represent approximately 1 in 5,000 people on the planet, or about two percent of 1% of all people alive today.
- Q: Wait. how does that work?
A: OK. Simple 1 in 4,900 people. The odds of any person carrying a recessive albinism gene is about 1 in 70. You need two carriers, most of the time, because most albinism strains are double-recessive, meaning you need two recessive genes to express the characteristic – deaf/sex-linked albinism being a rare exception that doesn’t move the statistics all that much. So, 70 squared is 4,900. Taking into account the other types, the real ratio is possibly about 1 in 4,750 or so.
- Q: How many albinos are in the USA?
Very clever boys, I bet you think you can find me. Well, you will have to sift through about 67,347 people in America today (about half of whom are male/female) to find my shiny white ass! Good luck with that.
- Q: I heard albinos are basically blind. Is that true?
A: Yeah, pretty much. But that is an oversimplification.
Some albinos experience the effects only in the eyes, a phenomenon known as occular-albinism. Most of us are occulo-cutaneous, which means it affects eyes, skin, and hair.
For anyone where albinism affects the eyes, there are multiple negative effects. Our iris will not have color, meaning not only do our eyes appear to be blue, but they may even appear to be pink at times. Light from the sun or other harsh sources can cause photo-phobia. Our retinas do not have the normal amount of pigment, which results in a lower overall image resolution for visual perception. Our eyes may compensate by moving back and forth in a phenomenon called rhythmatic nystagmus, which means that we have difficulty making eye contact and that our eyes are always scanning to compensate for other vision issues.
Some albinos get this worse than others. It really depends on your specific genetic makeup. However, an albino who can obtain a driver’s license, even with the aid of special head-mounted telescopes (as pictured by Casper in Me, Myself, and Irene) would be extraordinarily rare.
Thus, we are effectively and generally considered an economically disabled class of humans, though we are perfectly capable of performing any number of valuable occupations.
- Q: Do albinos have superpowers or supernatural abilities?
I mean, it depends on who you ask. Michael Moorcock (More-cock, really!?) thinks so. A lot of people who ran Chinese restaurants in the 80s certainly seemed to think so. Some people close to me think that I have powers. However, whatever those powers might be, let me assure you that I bleed just like the rest of you.
However, I think if any vampire tried to seduce me, they would probably suffer a similar fate as half of these ID verification apps, and crash spectacularly. I have my very own built-in anti-face-recognition algorithm and let me tell you that shit is totally fucking real. Is that a superpower? Or maybe it’s just super-annoying…
- Q: I heard you can get magic abilities by eating albinos’ body parts. What’s up with that shit?
A: I’m going to assume you are asking out of morbid curiosity and not out of any ill-conceived notion of trying such a thing. Let me assure you, if you tried such a stunt on me, you (or some important part of you) would be on my dinner table that very same evening.
This is a common superstition in Africa, where as of at least the early ’10s, there were still documented cases of people conducting home invasions to hack the hands or feet off albino children, in order to eat them (or sell them) to gain power from them. Needless to say, this is barbaric!
- Q: I’m am albino, but I don’t feel pretty. What can I do?
A: Learn to accept yourself. Understand your relationship with light, K-values of modern light fixtures (e.g. blue light is your friend, but not always), cameras, the Moon and the Sun (aka Death Star), and all the other components that go into appearing on film vs. how people’s eyes see you in the moment. I wish I had a perfect answer for you, but I don’t.
Well, that’s everything I can think of. What else would you like to know? Leave your questions in the comments, and I will do my best to answer.
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